I think if you are going to live in your parents home, 2 or 23, you have to abide by their rules. As far as “doing stuff” with your boyfriend in your parent’s home, I feel is disrespectful. especially if you know they do not approve. Get a job and move into your own place where you can do as you please if you don’t like their rules. Give me a thumbs down if you want to, but that’s the way the cookie crumbles in my book.

Well, since you’re in their house, it’s their rules.

I’m almost 20 and going through this with my bf of 2 yrs. My parents do the same things, got so bad my bf doesn’t come over anymore, we have to meet other places and his place. Isn’t that great? I didn’t do anything, I don’t do drugs, like never drink, it’s not like I’m having sex on the bed while they are in the hallway, it got bad enough to where me and him could not even hug each other

I was in the same boat as you only problem was after I had my very first boyfriend my parents started treating me like I was a teen that I had to be home at such and such a time to the point at times where I wouldn’t call or come home for a couple days I would just stay with friends (mainly weekends). One weekend I had gone with a friend to church and afterwards were at her parents place when her dad had to be rushed to the hospital. Once another friend had gotten to the hospital we decided to leave after being assured that the friend’s father would be fine. The next day I went somewhere with my friend and got back to her place there was a call for me it was my parents telling me I had to be home by this certain time. Well I would have gotten home sooner BUT my friend’s mom had to make a couple of phone calls and by the time I got home my parents lived up to the promise of locking me out. It wasn’t 3 months later that I had gotten a new boyfriend (my now husband) and I was talking on the phone with him when my dad asked me who I was talking to. I politely told him it was none of my business and next thing I know my mom came out and told me (and these were her exact words) that if I wanted my privacy that I could move the f*ck out. I moved out the next day to the shock of my parents. So let her know that yeah you maybe living under their roof but if they don’t start treating you like an adult threaten to move out.

I know how you feel – I was 20 when I moved in with my now fiance. It was my dad that was like that. His house, his rules – blah blah blah. My fiance was the only person he really ever let in my room. I had surgery last June, and he actually let my boyfriend sleep in the bed with me afterwards – I couldn’t believe it!!! (He loves him though)
Anyways, my brother is 17 – his girlfriend stays the night, sleeps on the couch with him, you name it… she’s allowed in his room, in his bed… it’s such a double standard. She just graduated highschool and got a cottage at the beach for the 2 weeks following. My brother went with her, and they had their own room ect. My dad would have NEVER let me go with an older boyfriend to a cottage with friends for almost 2 weeks knowing we’d be sleeping in the same room, never the less the same bed.
Honestly though, unless you pay rent you really don’t have a say so…. talk to them, but other than that you should respect their wishes, they are your parents after all…

Thats a little extreme i feel for you. Let me guess she said her house her rules i know it has to suck!

Reguardless of why, so long as you live there they will treat you like that. I understand the financial situation because I am in the same place, under going cancer treatment for 2.5 years. However, I knew it would be that way if I moved back home. I was too attached to my indepence to back there. I had other family that I could stay with like my cousin and now I live with my significant other.
Basically if you hate it that bad, find a way to live on your own. Find a room mate to share an apt, or another cool family member with their own place, or get houseing assistance. You don’t have to stay there, you are an adult and there are other choices.
The question you have to ask is, is not having a lot if any extra money worth your indepence to live your own life?

MOVE OUT . its her house her rules. i wasn’t allowed to sleep with my boyfriend in the same room until i was preg with son .

I really think it depends on the parents, the number of kids and the teens/adults themselves. I’m 19 and home for hte summer, and my parents are really calm about it, it’s tell us when you think you’ll be home by, or if your staying the night somewhere.
But I’m also the 3rd kid, by the time I got to be an adult they’d already gone through all that and seen how it worked and relaxed. As far as guys, it would probably be about the same as you, doors open thing. I haven’t had to go through that since my boyfriend lives where I go to college so I’m not seeing him for the summer. But they’re traditional, like when I went to visit his grandmother with him they wanted to make sure I would have my own room, at HIS GRANDMA’s house. You know, because there’s some crazy grandma’s who let kids sleep in the same bed…… yeah.
As far as it goes with guys, I’m ok with it. I understand they’re looking out for me and don’t want me to end up pregnant or be doing disrespectful things in the house. And if I wanted to do other stuff I’d prefer to be another place anyway, so since i know I won’t be doing anything naughty when the guy is over I don’t mind leaving the door open. It gives them peace of mind and doesn’t change my relationship with my boyfriend, it’s just a way to thank them for the other freedoms and let them know I respect them. Since my parents are so calm and easy going and let me live with them when I’m on break from school the rules they do lay, I try to follow without resentment because I’ve learned there’s a method to their madness.

Sorry, hon, you are living as a dependent under their roof, and they are entitled that you respect anything they request.
You cannot claim the rights of an adult when you function as a dependent.
Contact VESID for assitance with locating a job. If you would like a job coach they often will place a job coach with you until you are trained. Go online to Your State Department of Labor and check out the job listings. Go to the local Dept of Labor office and they will help you create, e-mail, fax and mail your resume’ for free. Go to Your Local Paper online and check out the employment listings.
Open a checking account. Maintain your own transportation. Do the things that make an adult independent.
Forget the disability guidelines. So you lose your benefits but you’re making 50K a year.
If you’re going to stick to the guidelines, why are you going to school? You don’t need a college education to underachieve.
My autistic daughter has all the state benefits available to her.
However, at 18 we are studying for a driver’s license and looking for a job. I don’t care if she chooses to move into a state sponsored program. But it won’t be because she doesn’t know how to function independently. It will be because she knows how to function independently and chooses to utilize their support.
So quit squabbling with Mom and Dad about whether or not your bedroom door is open. Focus on gaining your independence. Then move out. Then call them and say, “Hey, Mom, my bedroom door is closed……”

If you want privacy get your own place. Seriously I’m 16 and my fiance and I live in our own apartment. AND yes its a nice one not one of those crack head cheap ones. And we pay our own rent